Wednesday, May 30, 2012


Hearbeats.
Murmurs.
Whispers in the wilderness.
The sounds of silence.

Visions.
Hauntings.
Dreamscapes.
The mind sees what it wants to see.

A smoky haze.
A smouldering gaze.
The errors of our ways.
Blurring what’s right before us.

Angels.
Demons.
Just figments.
Pay them no due.

Slivers.
Fragments.
Shrapnel.
Divide to rule.

A glimpse.
A touch.
A fragrance.
Capture our senses.

Gulp.
Shiver.
Blink.
Our fears are palpable.

Dilate.
Contract.
Widen.
Don’t look into the light.

Asleep.
Awake.
Aware.
We fool ourselves each day.




Remember.
Forget.
Forgive.
The lies that veil our eyes.

Relax.
Observe.
Contemplate.
Secrets at the heart of eternity.

Run.
Fall.
Rise.
Escape is impossible.

Tears.
Smiles.
Seeds.
Some blossom while others fade.

Bridges.
Mazes.
Walls.
Build the cities of our dreams.

Fire.
Ice.
Hopes.
All burn within and without.

Memories.
Utterance.
Nostalgia.
Swim in the seas of our past.

Desire.
Love.
Aspire.
We write our own stories.

Breathe.
In.
Out.
One last time, we’re nearly there.




I.
You.
They.
We’re all in this together


Life.
Death.
Dreams.
The tripod of being.

What more could we wish for?

Beginnings spawn ends,
And ends beginnings.



Ahh, the first taste of spring!
Heavy on the tongue like fresh dew on a blade of grass.

The vigour of a flower,
As it shakes off the months of inertia,
And shyly strips away its inhibitions,
To present its radiant face again.

The innocent pursuits of a childhood spent,
In make believe and imagination.
To watch a child grow,
And yet stay pure at heart.

To experience the joy of a love brand new,
The flutter of an eyelid, the way the hips sway,
And that first brush of the lips – emotions soar like an eagle.

Like waking up from a long dark dream,
To find the sun shining again,
Hesitant at first, as if it too is trying to remember how,
And then more confidently each passing day.

The others take the hint,
And wake from fitful slumbers.
The clouds, they wink at everyone,
And let loose a playful drizzle,

A sign of things to come…



Ahh, the rich bounty of summer!
Clinging to the skin, warming us without and within.

The world a riot of colour,
Dazzling and bewitching in its intensity.
Show-offs, the lot of them,
Flaunting their tempting bodies to birds and bees alike,
Beckoning them to their succulent hidden treasures.

The child is ever growing,
A little wiser in the ways of the world now,
Yet, its spirit undampened by the demands made of him,
Taking it all in his stride, like the king of the world.

The love too has blossomed and grown,
Comfort found in time spent together,
And fonder it grows in the absence of the other.

The dream now forgotten, he shines with all his might,
Driving the night back with his strength.
He is just the tip of the iceberg,
For, with his heat, he leaves them all exuberant,
Drunk on his light, and celebrating
The excesses of life.

Those irreverent white fluffs of cotton,
Hanging forever from invisible hooks,
And unleashing their harvest,
Drowning the world in a torrent of life.

They’ve climbed up to the summit, but it’s a long way down…



Ahh, the sighs heaved for autumn!
Waves and waves of wistfulness flow through the blood.

Shedding the cool, damp shades of green,
For temperamental reds and somber yellows.
And one by one falling,
Dancing to a tune upon the fickle breeze.

A man now in the prime of life,
But bogged down by cynicism and disdain.
His joys now found in the confines of a clear glass,
Swishing around its golden contents,
Around a melting glacier,
A paradox of fire and ice.

Love’s embrace has now grown cooler,
From lifetime spent in warm content,
The memories of a burning fire,
Dying like embers on the pyre,
Ashes in their wake.

Dreams rear their hypnotic heads once more,
From somewhere deep within,
Harbingers of sorrowful days; the sun
Once more fades as the hours march on.

His sleepy eyes infectious,
They yawn as one, as if preparing,
For mass ritual hibernation.

Wrap yourselves warmly, for the air grows chill…



Ahh, the biting fangs of winter!
Sinking their venom through pale blue veins.

Lying naked in the wind, their skeletons exposed,
Waltzing to a haunting melody,
The long dark years tattooed on their flesh,
Deep cuts that bleed nothing at all.

Time always takes its toll,
He feels the weariness in his bones,
As he ponders on the illusion of life
And the stark reality of a dead eternity.
The ache grows stronger, throbbing and dull,
But it will soon pass; and then peace forevermore.

Hands clasped, they gaze into each other’s old grey eyes,
Reading the messages in faint reflections;
But curtains close across one pair,
The grip weakens, the hand goes limp,
And salty, bitter tears glaze the other.
A tide of fond nostalgia and remembrance rises.

Eyes shut, he slips into a world,
Of dreams and fancies once more,
Waking occasionally but not quite awake,
Faint glimmers shining through his half open eyes.
The glimpses of a bleak, lifeless world,
Imprinting themselves on the canvas of his mind.

Sleep well, for dawn shall beckon soon…



They ride upon the crests and troughs of life,
Each day, each month, each year,
One may come and one may go,
But it’s all the same in the end.

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Buzzkill


Vitru Article, 2010. All thanks to... well, one of the seniors who turned up for final year Inci, for the title. Definitely sounds much better than Peace's suggestion of 'Dro(w)ned in Quinone'. I can tell you what he was high on when he suggested that, but as to the quantity of it, you'll have to ask him yourself.

"Recon Drone, this is Drone Control. Do you copy?"
"Roger that, Drone Control. Loud and clear."
"Excellent. Were you briefed on your mission?"
"Affirmative. We are to proceed to Sector Mike-Bravo-Five, and survey the area for possible targets. If a target is found, we are to wait for your authorization before Attack Drone goes in."
"Roger that, Recon Drone. Could you run a recheck on the weapons Attack Drone is equipped with?"
"Sure thing, Control. He's got the full arsenal on him. Aegypti, Albopictus, Anopheles, Culex, Culiseta, the entire works. If we acquire a target, it should be a piece of cake."
"Good work, Recon. Remember to start transmitting the AV signal on buzz frequency five-zero-two when you enter the sector."
"Copy that, Control. Approaching sector boundary, distance one-hundred feet. Estimated time of breach, eighteen hundred hours."
"Stay on course, Recon Drone. Keep me updated on new developments."
"Roger, Control. Sector has been breached. Hold on, something's up here..."
"Go ahead, Recon."
"They seem to have cut off the electricity to this particular sector. But all surrounding areas..."
"..are fine, yes, I know. This only makes your job easier, Recon. Turn on the AV signal."
"Sure thing, Control. Uplinking AV signal on buzz frequency five-zero-two in three, two, one..."
"And we're online. It's perfect. Good job, Recon Drone."
"Thank you, Control. Your call now. The place seems empty... except for..."
"Look to your ten 'o' clock, Recon. Do you see it?"
"Roger, Control. Target acquired. Shall I activate Attack Drone?"
"Affirmative, Recon. Deploy Attack Drone with Aegypti. Go for the jugular."
"Attack Drone deployed. He's approaching the target fast. He's dived in. Steady, steady... HOLY SH-"
"Recon? Recon? Come in. What happened, Recon?"
"The target got Attack Drone, Control! He was more alert than we thought. Attack Drone is down, I repeat, Attack Drone is down!"
"Calm down, Recon. Are his weapons salvageable?"
"Let me run a check on his systems, Control."
"Well?"
"That's a negative, Control. All his weapons were destroyed."
"Goddammit. Are you equipped with anything at all, Recon?"
"Affirmative, Control. I have one Anopheles equipped. But I could never use it and get out alive..."
"It's a sacrifice you'll have to make, soldier. Everyone loses something in this war."
"I understand, Control. 'For the greater good of the Swarm.' Wish me luck, Control. I'm going in."
"'For the greater good of the Swarm' indeed You shall be martyred, Recon Drone."
"As I understand, AV signal continues to transmit for a while even without active drones around?"
"That's correct, Recon. So remember, if you succeed in your now suicide-mission, we shall have the satisfaction of seeing its results."
"It's a sweet thought indeed, Control. Goodbye."


AV Feed On Buzz Frequency 502

"Achar!!! Why'd you bunk, dude?"
"I have some high fever and some bad back and neck pain, man. I think I better get it checked."
"Oh, damn, yeah dude, you better. Some guys on 6th floor caught malaria, better get blood test done for that."
"There's goes the last month of college. Sad..."



Damn Mosquitoes. You just know they're going to take over the world someday...

Recurrences


It might have been a dream I had.

... wakes up.
Bolts upright in his bed,
Eyes darting about madly.
The details sketchy,
But the picture still vivid in his subconscious.

Cold, clammy sweat clings to his skin,
Soaking the sheets, clouding his vision.
He raises a hand to wipe it from his eyes,
While desperately probing his mind.

He remembers a room,
His memory then draws a blank.
Holding his head in his hands,
Rocking back and forth,
He concentrates again...

A room, yes, that much is clear.
A room of horrors, was that it?
Or much more than that?

He swings his legs over the side,
And plants his feet on the ground.
Eyes shut tight.
Still thinking, still probing...
What was it, damn it?

Suddenly, a flash of red.
The room, yes...
The walls of the room...
Red?

It comes back, bit by bit...
The scarlet paint on the walls,
Dark, and yet so vivid,
There was something about the way it ran down,
Viscous, slow, but untiring,
There was something about its quality.

Dry in some places,
Fresh in most.
He recalls going to the wall,
And touching it, running a long finger against the wetness,
Something about it makes him shiver...

He brings the finger up to his lips,
Sticks out his tongue, and tastes it,
He knows the taste,
Salty, alkaline, sharp...
He recognizes the smell,
Grim, foreboding, metallic...

Blood?
‘The walls were coated with blood.’
He thinks to himself,
His mind suddenly caught in a vortex,
‘Where the hell was I?’

The memory fades,
And sharpens,
In interludes.

His feet feel wet too,
And as he raises one,
He hears the steady sound...
Drip-drip-drip,
Drip-bloody-drip...
The drops disengaging from his skin,
And gravity pulling them back into the pool.

He looks around, terrified,
And in some places,
He discerns things...
Hard things, soft things,
Rigid things, flexible things.

Scared of what he will find,
Yet, he walks through the pool.
Bends over, and picks up the closest object.
It can’t be...
‘Is that a damn skull?’

Fragments of bones lay scattered around,
And a little distance away,
Coiled, slashed, barely discernable...
Oh, god...
He feels the bile rise in his throat.

Entrails, and guts, and intestines,
And just a little further,
A brain. And a heart.
Just stopped beating too,
He doesn’t know how he knows,
But somehow, he just knows...

Other paraphernalia that he doesn’t recognize,
Or if he does, his mind refuses to accept what he sees.

During it all,
He never noticed,
(For the sound of blood in his ears was too loud),
Low, hardly tangible.
Breathing.

‘Is someone there?’
He asks as he turns around,
And stands, rooted to the spot,
Staring,
At the last thing he will ever see.

A dark shadow leaps, otherworldly in its agility.
A flash of claws and teeth,
A loud scream, petrified and primal.
A mercifully quick end.

Eyes still closed,
Body still trembling in fright.
Mind still recovering.
Dreams are so much more vivid than reality.
The senses so much more enhanced.
The experiences so much more experienced.

Deep, calming breaths.
He opens his eyes.
And looks around.

The walls – red.
The smell – oh, god, the smell.
The floor – a pool.
His feet – wet.
His surroundings – this can’t be happening...
The things strewn around.
The acid taste of bile in his throat again.

He stands up,
Almost of his own accord, but not quite.
Takes one unsteady step, then another.
The dream already forgotten.
His mind drowning in a whirlpool again.
Too many sounds in the dead silence.

But one stands out.
A fragment of the dream lingers.

Low.
Slow.
Ready.
Steady.
Excited.
Calculating.
Savouring the moment.
That sound...



Breathing.
Oh, god, no...

He turns around.
His body possessed.
His mouth and tongue already assuming the shape.
His vocal chords already stretching.

Darkness is the absence of light.
It leaps at him.
He sees the flash.
Its weapons are intangible.
But they do the job.

A millisecond framed in an eternity.
Grace and alacrity perverted to cruelty.
An ear shattering scream from the depths of insanity.

His own.
He feels the claws rip across his throat.
Yet, the scream sustains.
But not for long.
Before he...

Driftwood


Drifting away,
Like a log on the ocean,
A somnambulant motion,
Another lazy summer’s day.

Brown upon the blue,
Floating into the haze,
Floating beyond my gaze,
Against the sun’s red hue.

Mists like smoke rise,
Spiralling into the sky.
Don’t you too, in your dreams, fly?
Awaken, open your eyes.

Watch as the world spins on,
And day turns into night.
Black replaces the white,
Until the next grey dawn.

Now smell that morning air,
Heavy with the scent of dew,
Heralding a day brand new,
My senses caught in its snare.

Driftwood now fights with waves,
Embroiled in struggle eternal.
The end of its life’s journal?
While another chapter it craves...

But slowly it sinks ever down,
The story was already decided,
It might have been one-sided,
But for the resilience of brown.

Once more all is still,
The surface again unbroken,
The ripples a mere token,
To erase a defiant will.

And sleep and shadow return,
Enveloping the mind,
For while our eyes are blind,
Fires of dream still burn.

Friday, April 1, 2011

Shit happens. Write about it.


Author’s note : This is the outcome of an attempt by the author to delve into the human psyche and explore some of its dark, forbidding underbelly. A state of extreme inebriation, coupled with a debilitating attack of depression, was ‘simulated’ by the author in order to access the sludge of emotions necessary for this exercise.

Welcome to the fields of desolation.
Take a good look around you at these vast, empty dustbowls of the human mind.
The spectrum of colours has failed to cast its dazzling web on this realm, and everything is cloaked in shades of grey – the monotonous bastard son of the two vistas of the outside world view, black and white. The monotony is shattered only by what the eye perceives; a hundred and fourteen different perceptions, a hundred and fourteen different degrees of loss, and a hundred and fourteen crests and troughs on the wave of despair.
Pebbles, flung around by the devilish outbursts of spiralling ash and dust, dot the landscape. Trees are long dead; their barks withering away and crumbling into forgotten wisps of what they once were; their lifeless arms jutting out into the void and swaying to a hypnotic, skeletal rhythm in the icy breeze, to the tune of the eerie whistles as the air reverberates through their carved hollows - an orchestra of the dead, conducted by a demented, silhouetted shadow that blocks out the sun. The roots dig deep into the parched, dead soil, craving water, craving life; but dreams slip through the mind like sand slips through our clenched fists.
This place is meant to break you.
To crush you into minuscule fragments; to grind you into a fine, meaningless dust; and just when you thought you couldn’t be broken any further, to plunge you farther down through that dark well of shattered hopes, and prove you wrong, and break you some more.
To burn you; till every separate molecule of your shattered self is on fire, overwhelming, all-encompassing, white hot fire; screaming in pain, in vain, again and again; a long drawn out, slow, flagellating agony that is designed to teach you about loss, in the cruellest, most sadistic way possible; burn you long after the embers are extinguished, and the acrid stench has long since dispersed and added to the already overwhelmingly wretched assault on the nasal senses.
To take what’s left, the ash and the black, swirling smoke; and spread it out over the emptiness, to make sure that none of it ever comes into contact with the rest of itself, to force it to become part of the drab, dreary monotony.
A thin, high pitched, malicious cacophony of gloating laughter resounds. Echoing all around in the vicious, self-contained vacuum deep within your mind. Where, waiting to pounce on the unwary and naive at every corner, there lurks a fragment of shadowy, evil intent. Its claws sharp and pulsing, its fangs dripping soporific poison, its lithe body curled and tense, its eyes gleaming with insanity and bloodlust. Just poised to strike at the exact moment for maximum effect. Fight or flight? Try fighting that which you cannot perceive, much less understand. Try fleeing the unknown, and finish worse off than when you started.
That dreadful cackle again. The last thing you might ever hear. The shadow might pity you, after all.
Hope... how tiresome. But it amuses the shadow so.
 Goodbye.

“Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.”

Thursday, December 30, 2010

Yes, being at work really does give you a LOT of free time.

Death is but a small price to pay,
For the gift of life, so some would say,
Others would tell you that life instead,
Is the price we must pay to join the dead.
Who is right, who wrong? It matters not,
Each is a reflection of the others' thought,
And what they say of mirrors, you know,
Right becomes left, and what comes does go.
Why in pale reflections do you seek,
An answer that you know to be bleak?
Why in the shadows do you follow,
The shell of a world that you know is hollow?
The search goes on, but the real truth,
Is right before your eyes, forsooth;
Don't look in the mirror, for it is the lie:
It's all the same whether you live or die.